What do you think is the most vital factor in a healthy, successful relationship? Is it love? Trust? Shared goals? Physical attraction? Recently, I posed a question to a private community I’m part of—a tight-knit Facebook group called “This Is Your Tribe.” The question was simple but deeply telling:

“If you had to choose just one thing that matters most in a relationship, what would it be?”

What really makes a relationship thrive? Is it about the man? The woman? Or simply the love that exists between them? While it’s easy to think love alone can hold two people together, the reality is far more layered. Yes, love is powerful—it brings people close, creates memories, and sparks passion. But for a relationship to endure, to truly last, there must be much more holding it together.

Feelings are intense, and falling for someone can make you believe that love is all you need. But the truth is, lasting relationships rely on a deeper foundation. Experts agree—there are many things more vital than just being in love. These things may not get the same attention as flowers and candlelit dinners, but they’re the glue that keeps two people together through all of life’s unpredictable turns.

You know that punch-in-the-gut feeling that hits you right after something goes terribly wrong? That intense cocktail of shame, regret, and hopelessness—yeah, that one. The one that whispers you’re not good enough, that you're a failure, and maybe you’ll never get it right. It’s the kind of despair that makes the thought of getting out of bed feel like a marathon. The kind that tempts you to ditch your dreams, tear down your hopes, and convince yourself you were foolish to believe love was ever going to work for you.

But here’s the thing: those thoughts lie.