Masturbation is one of those quietly accepted rituals of modern life—normal, harmless, and even beneficial to your health. I’ll be honest: I’m no stranger to it. On most days, I indulge once or twice, depending on my mood or how idle I feel. If science says it’s good for you, why would I deprive myself, right? But there have been extended chapters in my life when, for one reason or another, I gave it up completely.

Sometimes, it was emotional. Post-breakup sadness, for instance, left me with zero interest in any kind of sexual release. Other times, depression swallowed up all energy and libido—just managing to get out of bed felt like enough of a battle. But not every dry spell came from emotional shutdowns.

Have you ever wondered why so many men wake up in the mood for sex while women often just want to hit snooze and steal a few more minutes of sleep? And why, when the evening rolls around—when women may finally feel open to intimacy—their partners are already halfway into their dreams?

It turns out, there’s a reason this happens, and it’s not because of relationship dynamics or emotional mismatches. The answer lies much deeper—in our hormones. Specifically, our body clocks, testosterone rhythms, and the opposing timing of male and female arousal cycles. Here's a deeper breakdown of what’s happening hour by hour, and why couples may find themselves mismatched in the bedroom without ever meaning to be.