Saturday, 20 April 2024
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What Makes a Man Fall in Love?

What is it that makes a man fall in love with a woman? Who is the type of woman that a man falls in love with? Women all over the world have been trying to figure this out. Popular society’s opinion makes it seems like men don’t fall for women the same way that women fall for men. Of course, that’s not true.

Relationship Coach Bobbi Palmer says, “A man falls in love when he feels like he could be a super hero with you in his life. When he feels accepted, appreciated and understood, and knows he can make you happy…he will be yours. Oh…and throw in that he thinks you’re hot!”

Women and men have the same emotions, and men will fall for women in their own special way. Researchers have finally pinpointed several of the reasons that men fall head over heels with women.



Men are often enamored by the entire woman. Her looks, her personality, her voice, her laughter – when men fall, they’re very first captivated by the entirety of the woman.

CEO of eHarmony Grant Langston says, “The answer doesn’t sound sexy, but a man falls in love when his feelings for a woman reach a critical mass. He spends time with her and he sees that she is kind, loving, affectionate, loyal, fun, sexy, and of a positive spirit in quantities that reach a certain weight. One day he thinks, ‘Wow, I love this woman.’ He may not know why, but his mind/heart have taken a look at her in an in-depth way.”

Men very rarely fall for individual parts of the woman before falling in love with all of her. Even the individual woman’s scent is part of the allure for the man falling head over heals.



One of the reasons that men fall in love with women is that he feels like he can make her happy. Men and women want the same thing when it comes to love. When a man looks at a woman, he feels like he can bond with her. When two people bond, they can make one another happy – and when men feel like they can make a woman happy, they also feel like she can make him happy, too.


As much as the media loves to push the idea of women playing hard to get, men fall in love with women who are much more open to the idea of love. Women who know what they want in a partner and know who they are as a lover are the type of women that men fall in love with.

“The things that makes a man fall in love really boil down to is a deep emotional connection. When you feel comfortable with being open and vulnerable with someone, you’re likely falling in love. Human beings as a whole need to feel connected to someone in order to let the walls down around them. We can only really feel anything, including love, when the walls are down,” says dating coach James Preece.

Men don’t want to fall for a woman who makes it hard to love her. Researchers find that men are more open to women who are open to them.


Men fall head over heels with a woman because of the way he feels. When he’s around a woman and he feels warm, happy, and full of love, it’s very easy for him to fall head over heels in love. When she makes him feel accepted and validated in his emotions, it’s exactly the kind of feeling that makes him feel ready to take it to the next step. Men like to feel accepted and loved the same way that women do.


What’s better to a man than a woman who is ready to say “yes” to all of the things that life has to offer? She wants to try new and exotic foods, explore new places and travel to new cities and countries.

“Finding a person who fits into his life without huge disruptions is important. Men may like to ogle high-maintenance women, but they’re not the women they marry. A willingness to say, ‘Yes, I’ll try that’—whether it’s trying exotic food he likes, sports he plays, places he wants to go—makes a man fall hard,” says editor Cathleya Schroeckenstein.

Women who aren’t ready to explore new things aren’t the kinds of women who men fall head over heels with.


Men who fall in love with woman fall in love with both the passion and purpose that she feels for life, and the passion and purpose that he feels in life when he is with her. When a man falls in love with a woman, he becomes filled with passion, and the more passion he feels, the more love that he feels. When a woman feels purpose for life, men can envision living that life right alongside of her – which makes them fall in love.


These are the qualities that actually make men fall in love:

He feels seen and appreciated for who he is.

Men are absolutely starved for appreciation. You may not realize it because he probably doesn’t come right out and ask for it, but you’ll see the effect it has on him when you show him genuine appreciation. He lights up, he becomes warmer, more engaged, he starts doing more for you. And you know what happens when a man gives to you? He invests in your and comes to love and cherish you even more.

Appreciation is what reaches a man at the deepest level. It reaches him at his core and softens him, hitting that elusive male emotional hot zone.

It’s not just about saying “thank you” every time he does something nice. It runs deeper than that. It’s about seeing and appreciating the person that he is. It’s not about his surface-level accomplishments, it’s about who he is underneath all the externals. Most of us don’t share our real selves. We hide it behind facades and filters. When you can connect with him at that core level, then you become a woman who is different from all the rest, a woman he bonds with on the deepest level.

He feels like a winner in the relationship

A man will never stay in a relationship where he feels like a loser. It doesn’t matter how stunning or amazing the woman is. Men need to feel like winners. This is what drives a man. This is what explains all of his behavior pretty much.

Most men have a mission in life. What makes a man feel happy, charged, and alive is if he’s in pursuit of that mission. If a woman brings out the best in her man and inspires him to be his best self, giving him the confidence to know he can achieve anything he wants, he will never want to let her go.

He loves being around her

A lot of the time a guy can’t explain what made his chosen woman “the one.” I’ve asked so many guys this question and usually will get responses like, “It was just a feeling I had when I was around her.”

I know one guy in particular who dated pretty much all the women in Manhattan. He seemed to be destined for a life of eternal bachelorhood so everyone was shocked when he got really serious with a woman… and even more shocked when he proposed! And I simply had to ask what made her different from all the rest. He told me he looked forward to spending time with her more than he has ever looked forward to spending time with a woman. He was never all that excited about the others. Sure they were great and all, but the one she chose had an energy that was different. She was radiant and positive and he just loved being around her.

If you’re an ANM reader, you’ve heard this phrase many times over: men move toward what feels good. It’s really as simple as that. When it feels good to be around you, he wants to be around you. This doesn’t mean you’re never allowed to be sad or in a bad mood. It means overall your mood and vibe are positive. Overall, it feels really good to be around you. You have a warm, inviting presence that makes people feel relaxed and at ease.

To have a great vibe (you could also call it your “energy” or “way of being” or your “charm” whatever term most resonates with you!), you need to understand that how you come across people is a reflection of how you feel on the inside. It’s not even about what you say, it’s your overall mindset, the things you think about privately.

Your thoughts affect your emotions and your emotions affect your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.  And we have thousands upon thousands of thoughts all day long. That “soup” of constant thinking and having emotional reactions to our thoughts manifest in an immediate “vibe” other people can sense off of you immediately.

When you’re in a great mood, you give off a great vibe to others.  When you’re in a loving mood, you give off a warm, loving vibe to others.

People can’t read your mind or know what you’re thinking, but people can definitely get a sense of whether you’re someone who thinks joyful, loving, positive thoughts or nasty, vindictive, hurtful thoughts… or worrisome, fearful, paranoid thoughts… or anxious, tense, stressful thoughts, etc.

When you feel great on the inside, it radiates outward.  And the more pure and undisturbed your great mood is, the more strongly that amazing vibe radiates out from you.

Like I said, it doesn’t mean you’re never allowed to be in a bad mood. Bad moods happen to the best of us. And there are going to be times you have a bad reaction to something.

This is part of the human experience and no, I don’t at all expect you could live a life where you’re never in a bad mood and never have a bad reaction. I’m not saying you can never have a bad reaction to something … I’m saying don’t feed into negativity. 

That means, don’t go seeking out drama (whether it’s TV drama, social media or drama in your real life). Don’t feed into negative thinking. Don’t feed into angry thinking. Don’t feed into fearful thinking.

The bad reactions happen… but everyone and anyone can choose whether or not they’ll feed into the negativity from that point forward.

You have a choice and you don’t need to feed into it.

This doesn’t mean you put up with bad treatment either.  If there’s a change that can be made in the outer world of your life and conditions, you can make it.  But on the inner level, keep your mood great and what you choose to focus on pristine and positive.

That’s really it in a nutshell.
1. Understand your mood is your vibe, and being in a great mood will automatically give off a great vibe… so make being in a great mood your #1 priority and starting point to improve and maintain a great love life.
2. You can have bad reactions when they occur, but never feed into negativity and don’t go seeking out negativity/drama either.
3. You don’t have to put up with bad treatment or poor conditions in real life, unless there’s truly nothing you can do, in which case you would do best to graciously accept what you can’t change.  If you can make a change, though, you can do so calmly without any internal negativity required.  Keep your inner world clean, peaceful, and happy.


She’s the total package plus

Every guy has an idea of what the total package is. I guess you could say it’s similar to a checklist, but men aren’t as rigid as a lot of women can be. Some guys like a soft woman who wants to stay at home and raise the kids. Other men like an ambitious woman who is killing it with her career.

Every guy has his type when it comes to physical traits and personality types. If you match what he likes, for the most part, then you will draw his intense interest. What makes a man fall in love is when you are a cut above the rest. It’s about being a high-value woman who is capable of having a healthy, loving relationship. You can’t fake being the total package. You get there by working on yourself and being your absolute best self.

She is her true self

This isn’t as easy as it sounds. A lot of us have trouble with vulnerability, probably because we’ve been hurt so badly in the past. In order to set the right foundation for a lasting, loving relationship, you need to be your true authentic self.  Men don’t fall in love with an illusion or a facade. A woman needs to be open to love, she needs to be ready for love, she needs to be honest and vulnerable.

This is how you form a true connection. This is how you bond in that deep, meaningful way. If you have emotional issues that are getting in the way of your being able to be your authentic self, then the best thing you can do is deal with them, the sooner the better.


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