Let's face it- even if you're a confident person, a first date can still be a scary experience- deciding how to dress, wondering 'will they like me', that sneaky saboteur in your head saying 'why did you say that?', 'do I have something on my face?'...
And if THAT doesn't give you enough anxiety, this comes AFTER deciding what to actually DO.
A bad first date won't immediately ruin your night, but it WILL be an obstacle you've put in your own way. Here are 3 of the WORST first date ideas you can avoid, and give yourself a fair chance!
1) The traditional 'dinner and a show/cinema'
Why it sucks!
Some readers may be surprised at this one!
At first, the thought of fine wine, quality steak and soulful opera may seem the ideal image of romance. And, if you both enjoy each other's company, it CAN be. Pretend for a moment this is YOUR evening. You've spent hours getting dressed, researching the ideal restaurant that will wow your date. You commit a week's salary on the food and show tickets....
Only for 5 minutes in, to discover to your horror.....There's ZERO attraction to this stranger. Even worse- they're BORING to you. Maybe their attitude is bad, they're rude to the waiter. Whatever it may be, you quickly realise... 'I don't want to be around this person ALL night!'
So you excuse yourself to the bathroom, lying to your date that 'you'll be right back'. If you're the man, you've likely foot the bill for a night that's not going to happen. And if you're a woman, you've likely agonized for 2+hours over your hair/makeup/most elegant dress to be left at the table- hopefully NOT with the bill!
But what if you DO struggle awkwardly through dinner, and make it to your show? Well, now you've got several hours of NOT talking! Aside from the brief break between acts to talk, how much about chance to get to know each other have you REALLY learned?
A good first date should be low investment- one where if the vibe ain't vibing, it's easy for either of you to call it quits. But, if you DO find yourself enjoying one another, you can go with the flow and allow things to develop.
Don't let the social media buzz tell you otherwise guys- for first time meets there is NOTHING wrong with doing lunch or coffee!
2) A family event
Why it sucks!
This is another one that seems like a good idea....UNTIL you dig into it. You might be the one making this invite, thinking that if you show your new love interest that you care about family, that it will win you some points.
But it's almost guaranteed, that THEY won't be as enthusiastic!
So what's wrong with inviting a new date to your favourite uncle's barbecue, or your cousin's wedding? Well, in a word- TENSION. What you may have meant to be a warm and sincere invitation will be received as a recipe for awkwardness! Why? Well, for a few reasons. The obvious one is, your date will feel completely dependant on you!
Imagine accepting an invite to an event where:
- Nobody knows who you are, or WHY you're there
- You're completely dependant on ONE person for introductions
- Families have their own drama, inside jokes and quirks that you just might not 'get'.
On top of that, perhaps their mother immediately dislikes you, or your potential partner didn't get the memo that it was family only! And all it takes is one comment from somebody's 'funny' relative:
- Ahhhh he's found another one!
- You look different from (previous messy relationship)
- How long have you been together? (Ummmmm....it's our first date??)
Bottom line, if somebody offers for you to meet their family baggage, if you barely know each other-skip it. And make a mental note that this is a BIG red flag! Definitely one to skip if you want to see that person again!
3) The 'Netflix & chill'.
Why it sucks!
Unless you're CERTAIN of the chemistry, inviting somebody round to 'watch your favourite series' (for 5 minutes) is NOT a strategic move! Why?
Well, it communicates that you don't care to put the effort in. That's not always a bad thing if the 2 of you are clear about your intentions. But for the average daters, we need some degree of trust, comfort and SAFETY built before anything physical happens.
Women are especially safety conscious- ask any single woman and she's got multiple horror stories to share, and that's even from people she's dated beforehand!
And guys, you have NO idea who you'd be letting into your home either! Inviting a stranger round to do the deed carries a big risk if you discover afterwards, that you just don't like her. Hurrying her out afterwards, even if she knew what the deal was when she came round, can have some nasty consequences. (By the way, you should ALWAYS get her a cab and send her the 'did you get home okay, had a nice time' text)
This is all assuming that the tinder profile matches whoever turns up of course! It's bad enough getting catfished by an 'old photo' (sure), but now this person knows your address. Anxiety much?
Say that your intentions really WERE innocent, vegging out in front of a TV isn't going to help the two of you get to know each other. A good first date really should be an interview for intimacy- can you actually ENJOY being around each other? And if you don't like each other....well....you're here now. Is it awkward yet?
So there you have it. The top 3 WORST first date ideas that you should definitely avoid. Missing these situational landmines will give your romances a fighting chance!
What's the worst first date you've ever been on? Was it the environment, the person, or something else? Let us know in the comments!
