There’s one truth that most people can agree on: men and women don’t approach sex from quite the same place. It’s one of the longest-standing truths in the conversation about love. Women are often more attuned to the emotional and relational aspects of intimacy, while men tend to feel their sexual drive in a more physical, instinctual way. But beyond generalizations, one question remains essential: how critical is sex for a man within the context of a deep, committed relationship?

As someone who has spent years listening to men in therapy rooms, in quiet sessions, or during emotionally charged discussions about love, lust, and long-term relationships, I’ve had a unique window into the male sexual experience. While I’ll never fully know what it feels like to be a man, I’ve been a witness to what many men truly long for, fear, and crave when it comes to sex with a partner they love. The themes I’ve seen repeat themselves are deeply telling.

Open up a glossy lifestyle magazine, and you’ll be bombarded with page after page discussing women's desires in relationships—how to understand them, how to meet them, and how to keep her happy. But what about the men? Their voices are often absent from this conversation, and yet they have emotional needs and desires just as real and profound. It's time to flip the script. Let’s give men that long-overdue space. Right here, right now.

You might not nod along to every point made here—and that's okay. The goal isn’t universal agreement; it’s awareness. This list isn’t guesswork or abstract theory—it’s rooted in my years of working with thousands of men, both face-to-face and online. And yes, it's also colored by my own insights as a man. So, let’s get into it.